Q. Why don’t we go for some pizza and beer?  Just you and me.

A. Are you buying?
(You just try to tell me that isn’t a frequently asked question!)


Q. For what occasions do you recommend your band?

A.
Birthdays
Anniversary Parties
Retirement Luncheons
Park Concerts
Ball Games
Some Funerals
Ice Cream Socials
Pancake Breakfasts
Award Banquets
Testimonial Dinners
Back Yard Barbecues
Clam Bakes
Fish Fries
Wienie Roasts
Anything Involving a Pig on a Spit
Our Music is Equally Compatible with Vegetarian and Heart Healthy
Diets

Q. For what occasions do you not recommend your band?

A
Study Hall.
A Romantic Candlelit Dinner for Two
Bed Time
Jury Trials
Will Readings
Most Funerals
Rock Concerts
Non Elective Surgery

Q: Is it true that your jazz band is gentle on the environment?

A: Yes.  Because our band is all acoustic and we perform without any
kind of electronic amplification, we don't burn any fossil fuels, and we
produce much less noise pollution than many of our competitors.  We
are a far more ecologically sensible entertainment option.  The only
time we produce any greenhouse gases during our performances is
when we exhale, which only accounts for roughly fifty percent of the
time.  We have experimented with inhaling more than we exhale, but
that practice causes considerable inflation, which the Federal Reserve
Board discourages. (Har! Har!)

Q. It has often been stated that jazz musicians not only push the limits
of instrumental technique and are constantly exploring new frontiers in
harmony, melody, and rhythm, but they also create music that is
beautiful and rich in emotional depth.  Was this true of the early jazz
musicians, and is Louis Armstrong’s virtuosic yet profoundly moving
1928 recorded performance of “West End Blues” an astonishingly
powerful example of this?

A. Yes.

Q: Does having a four syllable family name (Can-zo-ner-i) make it
difficult to market your jazz band?

A: You bet it does.  I always try to remember, though, that with my four
syllable name, you get thirty-three and one third percent more than you
can from someone with a three syllable name like Sin-a-tra.


Copyright 2005 Christopher M. Canzoneri